Momentum, Inertia, and Anxiety

Hello to whomever sees this,

Its the sort of the thing too personal to put on Facebook but needs to be put somewhere public, in the sense that it would be discoverable and maybe helpful to others, or even a future self.

I am trying. I swear. I do not quite get the things done that I mean to, to apply for those jobs or clean the room or what have you. But I am trying, and I am failing a little less each day. Sometimes, the lack of failure is only a little compared to the day before. . . But I will make it.

I have been meaning to write a blog for weeks now. And here it is.

Maybe the next one will be better. Hopefully, it won’t take weeks.


Post July Booths Update…

Hey everyone who may come across this,

I survived. I did the North Ogden Cherry Days dressed up like Uncle Sam and sold a few of my guitars, and I did the Pleasant Grove July SummerBration and sold two more..

They were both brutal – didn’t meet anything near my goals for sales, I’m not used to being outside in the heat like that, and so much else. They were fun though, and I met some interesting folks and generally seems people think I am doing something good, something awesome.. Just apparently not necessarily something they want to buy into.

The business side still eludes me as my craftmanship has been confirmed. I make good stuff. The instruments play well, they sound nice, and they look ‘cute’ or ‘awesome’ or ‘great’.

I’ll figure the rest of the business stuff all out eventually, I suppose. Even being broke, I am still having a blast and I still have some faith I am onto something, bringing some small bit of wonder into the world.

So in that vein, I really do need to get on with keeping up with updates to this site, the facebook stuff, youtube videos, everything. Get the word out, this is what i do, its fun, you can do it too, lets make music together.

Defeating Crushing SelfDoubt and Anxiety

Meh. Forgive me for I have sinned?

I have let too much go and too much time leave me the last 3 weeks, 4 weeks.. I am 2 weeks late on mailing out eBay items, I completely missed the Cajun Festival, and I am down over $600 in the budget.

I was able to buy some time with a small loan – $295 paid back at $75 a month for 6 months. I should have checked about that loan before going to the payday vultures but hindsight is like that…

The best I can do now is scrape through, and even to do that I have to pull my sorry ass away from the pity party and get to work… I am negative on funds because I overspent buying supplies. I have wasted time causing the overreach in expectations.

But – it is summer soon, there will be events to set up a booth at, there is soap and guitars to be made, and laughter to be had. There is hope, as there always is, so let the selfdoubt be crushed, as much as I have damaged my situation, I am still going, and I can grow from here and repay my debts and learn from my mistakes.


Life goes on. Namaste,

Br Harold Francis Stubbs